Ramblings & Rubies

PTL!!!!!!!

2010-03-26T13:51:00.001-07:00

Today I found out that I got the job up in CVICU! I am soooooooooo ecstatic! My two loves in nursing are cancer and heart, so this job is a big deal! There are over 1500 nursing students graduating in this state this year, so to get a job at all, much less my dream job, is very exciting!

Now I just need to keep praying that God will help me finish out school strong and continue to guide my footsteps as I serve Him.

Future thoughts

2010-03-18T15:08:00.000-07:00

Well, I had an interview on Monday for the CVICU in the hospital I currently work at. I would looooooooooooooooove to get the position. However, I heard that a lot of people applied, so it's competitive. Now I am just trusting the Lord to put me where he wants me to be.

PRAYER REQUEST: Please be praying that if it is God's will that I will get this job. They said I should hear something by the end of next week.

Good news is that I've been on top of my game with my school work and have finished almost all of the semester projects so that I can concentrate on studying for tests and learning what I need to know to pass my state boards. God is so good to give me the time I need to accomplish the tasks I am assigned.

Just read a friend's blog and saw that she had created this saying & loved it:
"Think, read, and pray before a choice you make.
Use your mind, engage your heart, before a step you take."

Pray, pray, pray! :)

When you give a neighbor a cookie...

2010-03-10T18:51:00.000-08:00

We had a funny thing happen tonight.

Background: We live in an apartment complex. Back around Christmas time we baked our neighbors some cookies. Other than that, we do not know our neighbors, we just see them walking by now and then.

Tonight we had a tornado headed right towards the area our apartment is in, so Paul and I were gathering blankets and heading towards the middle of the apartment when we heard a knock on our door. It was a couple that lives upstairs, seeking shelter from the tornado. So, we let them and started chatting and then we heard another knock on the door, and when we opened it, it was the other two sets of neighbors from upstairs. So then there were 8 of us crammed in our little apartment. Eventually the storm let up and the neighbors went back home. A few minutes later Paul opened the door to check the weather, and there was a little green frog sitting on our doorstep, looking at us. I looked at Paul and said, "This is where we draw the line." lol.

In other news, I only have 9 weeks of school left! Praise the Lord! I am so excited to be graduating soon.

Bi-annual blogging is no bueno.

2010-01-14T21:10:00.000-08:00

So, I haven't blogged in almost exactly half a year. Oops. You'd think I was in nursing school or something. Here's my life update:

LAST SEMESTER OF SCHOOL!!!!!!! HOORAY!!!!! I am ecstatic. I love my classes so far! Last semester was rough because the information in lecture was either uninteresting or were bits of information we had learned in previous classes. This semester I am getting slammed with new information, but it is super interesting and is really connecting the dots for me.

Marriage is wonderful, wonderful, wonderful. I love seeing my husband every evening when we get home. He is so helpful around the house (yes, even after 6 months) and it's just such a relief to finally be married after 4 years of dating. Oh, and I have had the most fun cooking different meals. I found that I LOOOOOOVE to cook and I had no idea! Marriage has made school much easier as well. I was able to pull off a 4.0 last semester thanks to the support of my husband.

I've applied for a job on the floor that I love. We will see what happens. I want the job sooooo badly. It's the one of the reasons I went to nursing school. However, God will put me where He wants me to be.

I started a new quiet time schedule. In the mornings I am now getting up 37 minutes earlier than before. I roll out of bed and spend the first 7 minutes praying, then I spend 30 minutes reading and meditating before I start to get ready for the day. It has been a challenge this week with my early morning school schedule, but I have enjoyed every minute of it.

Well, that's the update. I want to start blogging more often again. I have missed it!

"Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path" Psalm 119:105.

I love this verse because it is so simple, but so true. If we aren't using the light (the Bible) to guide our way through life, then we are walking in darkness and we will never find the way.

Thank you, God, for Your Word!

One Month!

2009-07-23T17:30:00.000-07:00

Paul and I have been married for a little over a month now. Monday made one month for us. For our one month anniversary, we ate at the Olive Garden and it was soooooo good! Their white chocolate raspberry cheesecake is one of my favorite deserts in the whole world.

Paul surprised me by bringing home roses! I love roses!!! I'm not a big flower person just because they are so expensive and they die so quickly (it's a lot of money for something that won't last long), but I really like getting them every once in a while for a special occasion, so our 1 month anniversary was just perfect! Paul knows me so well!

On Tuesday night (day after our 1 month) we decided to dive into our wedding cake topper (which is more like a whole cake) for our 1 month rather than our 1 year, because so many people have told us that no matter how well you wrap the cake, it never tastes that good after it has been sitting in one's freezer for a whole year. We will just make a new cake to celebrate when we get to a year.

Paul wanted me to take a picture of the dinner I made for him on Tuesday night. It wasn't anything special, but he thought it was really good. I made stuffed baked potatoes, fruit salad with whipped cream, and cut up some bell peppers. Of course, cake was dessert. YUMMY!

Married Life

2009-07-14T19:34:00.000-07:00

I am enjoying married life soooooooo much! It is so nice to have my own husband & home to take care of every day! Of course, my sweet husband is making being married a breeze. On the days that Paul leaves the house for work before I do, I receive a little love note on the refrigerator. I've been finding that I now wake up and run to the refrigerator with anticipation, wondering what my note for the day will say. It is so much fun!

I have also been enjoying cooking for myself and my husband. We have been eating a lot of fresh fruits and vegetables since it is summertime. Since we live so close to the grocery store, it hasn't been hard at all to stop by on my way home and pick up fresh produce, especially since the produce has been on sale these past few weeks!

I have also found that my relationship with God has deepened since Paul and I have been married. It is an exciting challenge to spend my time serving my husband and at the same time, developing character qualities that have been lacking in the past. Being married and living with my husband is allowing me to clearly see some of the areas where I am severely deficient as far as Christian character goes.

There is the verse in Proverbs that says, "He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord," but I think the same goes for she who finds a husband. Too bad the best one is taken now! ;)

Wedding!

2009-06-17T21:47:00.000-07:00

I can hardly believe I'm getting married in two days! Today we will spend most of the day setting up the church, we will continue that on Friday, then we have rehearsal dinner that night, then hopefully a good night's rest & the big day is finally here!!!!! Pray for me and Paul for the next few days and as we prepare to spend our lives together.

Yes, I should be studying.

2009-05-04T09:28:00.000-07:00

I need to be studying for my finals, but I wanted to give a little update since I have not posted since March.

We are now less than 7 weeks from when I become a Mrs.! WOW!

I am so excited to become Paul's wife and to have my own little home to tend. I have never lived away from my parents, so it is going to be a learning experience. I think it will be very hard to go into my new kitchen and not have my mother's bakeware, pots and pans, silverware, plates, etc. when I am trying to prepare a meal. I just know I'll start cooking and I'll have forgotten that I didn't have that one spice ingredient I needed. Good thing WalMart will be close! haha!

School is wrapping up soon. I have a presentation tomorrow and two finals on Thursday.

My big prayer request is for the week after this week. Not this Thursday, but next Thursday (May 14th) I have what is called the "HESI test" which is a progression test to decide whether or not I continue from junior to senior year, basically deciding whether or not I stay in nursing school or get kicked out. I get three chances to take it and pass, but the second chance is when I'm supposed to be gone on my honeymoon, so I'm really, really praying that I'll pass it the first time so that I can concentrate on wedding planning and have fun with it rather than trying to balance studying for that test & wedding planning.

I know God's will always goes forth, but please pray that I will not be anxious or nervous about this test. Pray that I will be diligent in studying, but that I will not worry about passing it or not, because God is in control. Pray that when I am tempted to worry, that I will remember to stop and pray and give it up to God. Pray that He will continue to be the delight of my heart and that I will remember that nothing on this earth matters as long as I am serving Him with all of my heart, and that He will direct my paths. Pray that I will trust Him.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 4:6,7, ESV).

I'm looking forward to being around more this summer and not feeling like my life revolves around school and wedding planning. I miss everyone!

Rainy day in more ways than one

2009-03-25T21:37:00.000-07:00

Lord, show me where You want me and who You want me to be, because all I want is what You want. Show me what You want from me and teach me to be who You will for me to be. I want to make an impact for Your kingdom, but sometimes I feel so stagnant and useless. Please help me to fight the lies that Satan throws at me and help me to remember that I'm not worthless, because I am Yours and You gave me breath for a reason. You made me to glorify You and if all I do here on this earth is live each day to praise You, then I will fulfill Your purpose for me. Help me to remember that I'm not here to save the world, but to be a vessel for You. I am merely Your instrument. Work in my heart to mold me into whatever piece of pottery You wish me to be, and help me to be content with planting seeds, even if I don't see the fruit that they produce. Do away with the will of my flesh, and make Your will what I always desire.

"But now, O LORD, you are our Father;
we are the clay, and you are our potter;
we are all the work of your hand"
(Isaiah 64:8, ESV).

"He has told you, O man, what is good;
and what does the LORD require of you
but to do justice, and to love kindness,
and to walk humbly with your God?"
(Micah 6:8, ESV).

Happy Birthday!

2009-03-15T19:45:00.000-07:00

Happy 17th birthday, Tanner! I love you! :)

My Favorite Places

2009-02-28T10:20:00.000-08:00

- the beach
- Barnes & Noble
- Starbucks
- my bed
- my daddy's lap
- Paul's arms
- on top of a mountain
- Ukraine
- the pool
- by the fireplace in the middle of winter
- with my friends
- in a pile of leaves on a crisp fall day
- in a mud puddle with rain boots
- in an ocean without jelly fish
- Maui, Hawaii
- in a rocking chair, holding a baby
- near to my Father

Growing Days

2009-02-10T21:30:00.000-08:00

Today was a very big "growing day" for me, spiritually speaking.

It all started this morning when I was talking to Paul on the phone. By the end of the conversation I had come to the conclusion that everything is based on perspective, so we can't trust man for the truth. Everyone has their own version of how an event happened, and their own perspective is the truth. God is the only One who can really say what truth is, because He has been accurate & truthful 100% or the time. He has always fulfilled promises and commitments, and never had to say He was wrong... because He hasn't been!

That was growing lesson #1.

Secondly, I was up at the hospital getting my clinical assignment and the weather outside was dreadful. Student parking is not near the hospital, so we either take the bus or walk. When I walked out of the hospital to go to my car, the bus was no where in sight, so I decided to walk instead of just stand in the rain & get drenched.
Well, it rained pretty hard as I was walking to my car, and I was getting really wet. I started praying, "Lord, would you please let up on the rain? At least until I can get to my car?" and yet it continued to rain at a steady pace. Then I started getting a little upset and thought, "Ok, Lord, why aren't you answering me?"
When I finally got to my car, I opened the car door, sat down, shut the door, and the rain started to POUR! It was then that I realized that God was listening to my prayers and was answering them, just not how I had anticipated. If I hadn't prayed for Him to let up on the rain, perhaps He had intended for it to pour the entire time I walked to my car & I would have been completely soaked.
What a good lesson on God's provision! There are so many times when I think, "God, are you listening?" and yet, I don't stop to think that maybe my prayers aren't being answered exactly how I expected, but they are being answered and He is making things better than they might have been had I not been faithful to pray.

So, that was lesson #2. Now on to lesson #3...

This one isn't nearly as profound as lesson #2, but Paul and I were studying Genesis 41 tonight and came to the conclusion that Manasseh & Ephraim (sons of Joseph & Ansenah) were probably twins. What's the significance? Well, these days it's been shown that sometimes twins are genetic. If your parent is a twin, or you have a biological aunt or uncle who is a twin, you are more likely to have twins. Jacob & Esau were twins, and then Jacob had Joseph, and Joseph had twins. How cool to remember that if someone is genetically predisposed now, they would have been genetically predisposed back then, too, they just didn't know it! That was my medical/spiritual moment for the day. :)

Thank you, God, for growing days!

Why me, Lord?

2009-01-28T08:47:00.000-08:00

I love this song, but I can never seem to make it through the whole thing without getting choked up and having tears poor down my face. I really need to start bringing tissues to church! I am just so very thankful that I was chosen, though I don't understand why I was when others were not. Especially as we have just started a new year & have new men and women in office, the fourth and fifth verses are my prayer for the year. What a beautiful song!

How sweet and aweful is the place
With Christ within the doors,
While everlasting love displays
The choicest of her stores.

While all our hearts and all our songs
Join to admire the feast,
Each of us cry, with thankful tongues,
"Lord, why was I a guest?"

"Why was I made to hear Thy voice,
And enter while there's room,
When thousands make a wretched choice,
And rather starve than come?"

'Twas the same love that spread the feast
That sweetly drew us in;
Else we had still refused to taste,
And perished in our sin.

Pity the nations, O our God,
Constrain the earth to come;
Send Thy victorious Word abroad,
And bring the strangers home.

We long to see Thy churches full,
That all the chosen race
May, with one voice and heart and soul,
Sing Thy redeeming grace.

Starting Back Up

2009-01-16T09:18:00.000-08:00

Nursing school started back this week... and I'm very busy again. Please pray that I will be diligent in my studies and have good time management.

Happy New Year!

2009-01-04T22:04:00.000-08:00

Can you believe it's 2009 already? Wow!

We had a wonderful holiday season. Christmas week was spent down at my mom's parents' house and we had so much fun enjoying each others company.

This is the year that I've been waiting for since 2005... Paul and I are getting married this year!
I am so excited about having my own little home & my own husband to cook & clean for, and to love. I'm so looking forward to being a wife and joining hands in our daily walk with the Lord.

The year is sure to be full of busy-ness! I start back to nursing school soon, coach cheerleading, work with the church youth, have premarital counseling sessions, need to spend time with family, friends & Paul, am a chair in the student government, have applied for a part time job, and somehow I'm supposed to find time for wedding planning & house hunting!! I'm very thankful that the Lord has everything in His hands.

Paul and I started a "read through the Bible in a year" study. So far, we have been consistent for the first four days. I think I'm terrified of getting behind since we're reading 4 chapters a night. For the past couple of years, we've been used to reading 1 chapter a night together, so this is quite a step up. However, we're really enjoying this study & it's so fulfilling be reading so much of God's Word and to have a years worth of a plan! Usually, we just choose a book and read through it, but this should be a helpful motivation to read books like Leviticus. Don't get me wrong, I love all of the Bible, but some books are just harder to read than others & I don't feel like I've learned much after reading a chapter (like Ezra 2 the other night... lots of names & numbers, not much application).

This week I want to remember: We are dust. He is God.

"All go to one place. All are from the dust, and to dust all return" (Ecclesiastes 3:20, ESV).

Another cup of cocoa, please!

2008-12-09T13:23:00.000-08:00

I have figured out why the end of the semester tests are known as "finals." It's because we students can hardly wait until they are FINALLY over!!

As of this morning I finished out my second semester of nursing school and 7th semester of college classes (including the two summers I spent taking classes). Just 3 more semesters and I will have my BSN/RN (Bachelors of Science in Nursing/Registered Nurse) degree and license.

I am so thankful to be on Christmas break now. Because nursing school started in May of this year, I have not had more than two weeks off of school since summer 2007. I know that doesn't seem like that big of a deal to those who are working, but when you're in school all day long and then have to come home and study until bedtime, it can be very tiresome!

For the next several weeks while I'm out of school I guess I'll be working on wedding plans, but hopefully that will be more fun than school. June is just around the corner!

Thank You, Lord, for getting me through another semester of school. Thank You for not only giving me a full scholarship, but allowing me to keep it thus far. Thank You for the opportunity to learn and be educated in a field that I am interested in, and help me to always use the mind that you've given me to serve and glorify You. Whenever I am tempted to take the credit for my talents and abilities for myself, remind me of the One who not only gives me academic gifts, but holds my very existence in the palm of His hands. In Jesus name, Amen.

Defining Moments

2008-12-02T23:54:00.001-08:00

Tonight I was talking to a dear friend about the exciting development of maturity in our spiritual lives. I was just telling this friend how excited I am to have seen a spiritual growth in them over the past couple of years. Three years ago when I started asking them how I could pray for them, prayer requests were consistently very surface level and were things like school, ill relatives, and other important, but impersonal requests. Over the years, I have seen spiritual growth in many areas, but one area that has definitely stuck out is that this friend now gives me more personal, deep requests such as pride, self-control, patience, etc. Now, I'm not saying that impersonal prayer requests are any less important, but I think that there is definitely a time in the life of a believer when the Lord starts to show them the depravity of their sin & the intricate details of their depravation, allowing them to see the "respectable sins" (as Jerry Bridges calls them) that are clouding their spiritual glasses.
I've also considered that another factor into going from surface level to deep spiritual content could be the intimacy of the relationship and the length of time the relationship has had to develop (I'm learning that most people don't spill their guts upon the first introduction as I tend to do), but in the case of this relationship and looking back, I didn't see much spiritual growth at the time the friendship began, whereas over the past few years I have seen significant growth.

These defining moments in our spiritual lives are so exciting to me! I love to see the development of personal relationships with God, and to learn from those who are more wise, and also from "baby believers." I have recently found that the passion that young believers have and the burning desire they have to preach the gospel has been kindled with time & I long to become more sensitized towards the urgency of proclaiming the Good News and remembering that any moment could be our last.

Oh, how I love to fellowship with believers! It's such a sweet time and I look forward to being extremely active during my Christmas break. It will be so nice not to have to stay home to study for tests and write papers and to be able to go out and enjoy the company of fellow Christians!

"Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another" (Proverbs 27:17, ESV).

"But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin" (I John 1:7, ESV).

"Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken" (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12, ESV).

My Heart Is Filled With Thankfulness

2008-11-27T20:04:00.000-08:00

Last night I was reading Psalm 118 during my quiet time and thinking just how fitting that Psalm is for Thanksgiving. I have so much to be thankful for this year! Not that I don't always have much to be thankful for, but this year is extra special to me.

We had a wonderful Thanksgiving Day. We slept in, woke up and watched the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade (a family tradition) while the delicious smell of sweet potato casserole, turkey, and dressing floated through the house. My grandmother came down, bringing four yummy pies, and then the our friends, the Kamphausen's, joined us for our Thanksgiving meal. We spent the afternoon talking and laughing, and overall it was a day to remember! The memories of this Thanksgiving will be dear to me because it is my last as a single person. For anyone who doesn't know, Paul ask me to marry him last month. We're getting married in June, so next year the holidays will be divided up between our families.

God has been so gracious to me and my family and I am so thankful to him for so many undeserved blessings. As a reminder to myself, I'm going to list just a few of the many ways that the Lord has blessed my life:

1. Sending His Son
2. Opening my eyes to see, my ears to listen, and my heart to understand
3. Forgiving my sinful heart
4. Redeeming me with His blood
5. Giving me the capacity to praise Him
6. My parents
7. My brothers and sisters
8. My extended family
9. Paul
10. Paul's family
11. My best friend, Anna
12. My church family
13. My friends
14. Freedom to serve Him
15. America
16. His Word (the Bible)
17. A voice with which to praise Him
18. Health
19. A healthy mind capable of learning
20. Protection from physical harm
21. My family loves the Lord
22. Bringing us to BCLR
23. Pastor Tim & his family
24. Sound, Biblical teaching
25. Missions
26. "My kids" in Ukraine
27. "My kids" in South Africa
28. My engagement to Paul
29. Good food
30. Laughter
31. Joy
32. Sorrow - and how we learn and grow from it
33. Color
34. Imagination
35. Sound
36. Smell
37. Touch
38. HUGS!
39. Smiles
40. Eyes
41. Music
42. My dogs, Mysti & Chip
43. Technology (cell phones, Internet, blogs, etc.)
44. Warm, fuzzy blankets
45. Discipline
46. Homemade butterscotch pie... YUM!!!!
47. Twinklie lights
48. Dedicated teachers of the Word
49. Homeschool moms
50. Scholarships

...I should stop now, but there is soooooooo much more to be thankful for!

"You are my God, and I will give thanks to you;you are my God; I will extol you.Oh give thanks to the LORD, for he is good;for his steadfast love endures forever!" (Psalm 118:28,29, ESV).

AAAAAAAAH!

2008-11-12T15:10:00.000-08:00

Life got busy. Very busy. I need to update!

Oh, to be a doorkeeper for Him!

2008-09-25T23:40:00.000-07:00

"How lovely is your dwelling place,
O LORD of hosts!
My soul longs, yes, faints
for the courts of the LORD;
my heart and flesh sing for joy
to the living God.
Even the sparrow finds a home,
and the swallow a nest for herself,
where she may lay her young,
at your altars, O LORD of hosts,
my King and my God.
Blessed are those who dwell in your house,
ever singing your praise!
Selah
Blessed are those whose strength is in you,
in whose heart are the highways to Zion.
As they go through the Valley of Baca
they make it a place of springs;
the early rain also covers it with pools.
They go from strength to strength;
each one appears before God in Zion.
O LORD God of hosts, hear my prayer;
give ear, O God of Jacob!
Selah
Behold our shield, O God;
look on the face of your anointed!
For a day in your courts is better
than a thousand elsewhere.
I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God
than dwell in the tents of wickedness.
For the LORD God is a sun and shield;
the LORD bestows favor and honor.
No good thing does he withhold
from those who walk uprightly.
LORD of hosts,
blessed is the one who trusts in you!"
Psalm 84, ESV

Father God, my soul is longing to dwell in Your courts! Thank You for the opportunities You have given me to serve You here on earth. I pray that You will continue to bless me with ways to glorify You and that You will use me as an instrument for your glory to impact believers and unbelievers alike. Thank You for Your grace on undeserving wretches like myself. A glimpse of Your glory is much more than I deserve, but You go way beyond that, giving me an eternal inheritance with You! God, You are so loving and merciful. Holy, holy, holy is the Lord Almighty! I pray that You will use me accordng to Your will and conform my will to Yours.
In Christ's holy name, Amen.

One of those days

2008-09-08T07:34:00.000-07:00

Well, I was originally posting to complain about feeling sad and lonely here at school. However, as soon as I started typing, 2 people walked by and said "hi." I guess I can't complain now.

I'm so glad Dr. M preached on humility yesterday! My heart is being wicked again.

"The heart is deceitful above all things
and beyond cure.
Who can understand it?"
Jeremiah 17:9

You can't serve two masters.

2008-09-04T20:42:00.000-07:00

I read this in my quiet time tonight:

"If we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth" (I John 1:6).

This is harsh truth. If we are not giving up the world and running after God, we do not have an intimate relationship with God.

Back To School

2008-08-19T21:18:00.000-07:00

I started back to school yesterday. I had a wonderful break, but it was short; however, I got to do quite a bit during my time off. I went to Pensacola Beach, FL for almost a week, spent time with friends & family, and then this past weekend I went on a canoe trip.
If you think about it, you can be praying for me during this semester. Pray for diligence and godliness. I want so much to be Christ-like! I'll post more later when I have a chance.

The Grace of A Great God!

2008-07-30T21:40:00.000-07:00

I'm done! I have successfully finished my first semester of nursing school, and hopefully the last semester of summer school in my college career! The Lord has been so gracious to uphold me with His steadfast love over the summer. It's been tough, but He has helped me through. Not only has He helped me complete the summer, but He has also given me the ability to keep my full tuition/books/fees scholarship. He is just so good!

I have now had a taste of what it is like to be a nurse... and I LOVE IT! I can hardly bring myself out of "nursing mode" and it seems like I am reminded of how I can prevent injury/infection in almost everything I do throughout my day. Just yesterday I was out to eat with some fellow students and thought to myself "This Mexican food is salty and it's hot outside. Better make sure we all drink plenty of water!" ...oh, my, how I've become a health nerd.

I have a couple weeks of break before I go back to school. I am hoping to accomplish quite a bit between now and then, and I am also taking a FL vacation for a few days! Thank you, God, for rest and relaxing, but I also thank you for work. I know for a fact that I wouldn't want to have time to be idle all of the time. I enjoy being productive not only physically, but also mentally, emotionally, and most of all, spiritually.

So, here's my end of the summer update. I know I haven't posted much this summer, but school has just been so crazy!
Paul and I are doing just fine in our relationship. He took a job earlier this summer that pays well and is in the field he enjoys (praise God)! It has been good for both of us that we've been busy this summer so that we could concentrate on others more than each other.
My family is fine... I think. I don't know, because I haven't seen much of them! Mom had a mini-vacation for a few weeks this summer while the kids visited grandparents. I am looking forward to spending time with them over my break.
I have felt completely socially deprived over the summer, but hey, that's nursing school! I just have to keep reminding myself that it won't be long until I'm out of school and can leave my room without possible consequences of failing a test.

"And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose" (Romans 8:28, ESV).

God, you have fulfilled your promise in my life this summer (though I never had reason to doubt since you always keep Your word). You are a great and gracious God and I pray that you will continue to teach me to love You more. Make Yourself my focus every day and help me to cling to You always. Amen.

Beneath The Cross

2008-07-14T16:22:00.000-07:00

Beneath the cross of Jesus,
I find a place to stand;
And wonder at such mercy,
That calls me as I am.

For hands that should discard me,
Have wounds which tell me "come."
Beneath the cross of Jesus,
My unworthy soul is won.

1 down, 1 to go!

2008-06-20T13:34:00.000-07:00

Well, I've almost completed my first class of the summer. I have a final for it next week, but that's all. I started the second class of the summer a little over a week ago. I'm getting close to the halfway mark. I can hardly wait for a few weeks of vacation at the end of the summer!

Busy, but loving it!

2008-06-02T18:32:00.000-07:00

I don't have much time to blog, because I need to be studying, but I just wanted to inform everyone about how much a LOOOOOOOVE nursing school! I am learning so much, and the teaching styles fit my learning styles. I've only been in school for a week and I feel like I've learned so much already!

Keep me in your prayers.

Striving After The Wind

2008-05-27T04:01:00.000-07:00

This morning during my quiet time with God I was reading in Ecclesiastes. Solomon had so much wisdom as to what was lasting and what was fleeting. I was very convicted about how easy it is to hold on to material things and even abstract ideas that are worthless and perish in the end.
I love how Solomon always credits God for everything in this book. Consider the following verse:

"Behold, what I have seen to be good and fitting is to eat and drink and find enjoyment in all the toil with which one toils under the sun the few days of his life that God has given him, for this is his lot. Everyone also to whom God has given wealth and possessions and power to enjoy them, and to accept his lot and rejoice in his toil—this is the gift of God. For he will not much remember the days of his life because God keeps him occupied with joy in his heart" (Ecclesiastes 5:18-20, ESV).

He says that God is the one that gives us the power to enjoy what He has given to us. We cannot even enjoy the little blessings without God granting us the ability to do so! We are utterly and completely dependent on Him.

As you go about your day, remember to thank God for the gift of the ability to appreciate and enjoy the little things.

So much, but not much.

2008-05-20T13:21:00.001-07:00

A lot has been happening around here lately, but it's just day to day events, not really "blogworthy."

I finished out finals strong and came out with 6 A's. I credit it all to the Lord, because without Him I would have never made it this far in my education and would not have been able to do so well in my classes. There were so many times this semester (and every other) when I was unable to concentrate, but God granted me the discipline to continue studying. There were also a lot of tests that had questions I didn't know the answers to, but He helped me choose the best answer. Prayer is one of the greatest blessings He has given us!

Lately, I have been enjoying the weather, organizing, and finishing some things that have to get done before nursing school starts. I have been relaxing, hanging out with friends and family, spending time with my Paul, watching movies, and reading books. I am so thankful for this break!

"Rejoice, O young man, in your youth, and let your heart cheer you in the days of your youth. Walk in the ways of your heart and the sight of your eyes. But know that for all these things God will bring you into judgment" (Ecclesiastes 7:9, ESV).

Five down, one to go!

2008-05-07T10:52:00.000-07:00

I've almost made it through finals week. Just one more final tomorrow and I'll be finished. Lord, please give me strength to finish out the semester strong!

God is so good!

2008-05-02T08:39:00.000-07:00

Okay, starting at the beginning. Not quite a month ago I got a call from the nursing school that I am transferring to this summer. They wanted to interview me for their "most prestigious" scholarships (2 different ones) and so we set up an interview time and I went in. Well, it turns out that one of their scholarships pays for tuition & fees, and the other pays for tuition, books & fees. To be eligible for the first one you need to have an interest in teaching at a nursing school & I do not, so that basically put me out of the running for one of the two.

I had about a 45 minute interview where I talked to the dean of administrations and she asked me about leadership qualities, honors, financial needs, etc. I was the last of seven people that were interviewed for these two scholarships (it was only a select few because one requirement to be eligible was that your GPA had to be 3.9 or higher). I was told that I would get a letter in the mail by May 1st to let me know either way if I would receive one of those scholarships. I have been praying ever since then that if it was God's will that I would receive the scholarship, but that it would go to whoever would be able to benefit His kingdom most.

Well, I have been checking my mailbox ever since and nothing has come. Yesterday (which was May 1st), there was still nothing. I wasn't worried, but just anxious to see what the response would be. I have been praying for trust that He will provide.

Today is dead day, so I was sleeping in. At about 9:30 the phone rang and it was the dean of administrations calling to inform me that I have been chosen to be a recipient for the scholarship that pays for books, tuition, and fees!

I am soooooooo excited and thankful! God is so faithful to provide for His children, and even if I hadn't received the scholarship, He would still be faithful and it would all be within His righteous and sovereign plan.

THANK YOU, LORD, FOR YOUR PROVISION!

"'Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.
'Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble' " (Matthew 6:25-34, ESV).

The God of Order

2008-05-01T20:29:00.000-07:00

Tonight I went to a refreshing women's night at church and learned not only how to decorate a home, but also how to organize one. I learned a lot of great tips for how to run a home once I have one, but I have to confess that after hearing all of that, it's so overwhelming that it makes me think I might want to live in my parents' home forever! Well, I won't take the easy way out. I'll get married to some sinful man, raise a bunch of sinful children, pray for sanctification on my sinful soul, and run a do my womanly-wifely-motherly full-time job of running a home. ;-)

"For God is not a God of disorder but of peace" (I Corinthians 14:33, NIV).

It was very good to hear encouraging words on order and the orderly God that we serve. This verse is in context of talking about the church, but I think that it can also apply to our every day lives. It is evident that God is orderly when we look at his methods for how he does everything. He had an order for creation, order for genealogy, and order for His plan of salvation.
When our lives have order, they run much more smoothly and we are better able to glorify Him.

Weddings, weddings, weddings!

2008-04-26T18:29:00.001-07:00

There comes a time in every young woman's life when she starts to feel like every Saturday is spent at either a bridal shower, a wedding, or both... ok, well, maybe that doesn't happen to everyone, but it's how I felt from about April-October of last year and how I'm starting to feel again this year!
In the past couple of weeks, four of my friends have announced their engagements (four different weddings), and today I went to both a bridal shower and a wedding later in the day. Over the next month, I will attend at least two weddings.

These recent events have lead me to the following conclusion: my friends are growing up (notice how I won't admit that I might be part of the supposed-to-be-adultish people)!

It's a strange feeling when the kids that you've grown up with start getting married. I hear it's worse when they start having kids, but I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

"Let marriage be held in honor among all" (Hebrews 13:4a, ESV).

This The Power of The Cross

2008-04-19T12:20:00.000-07:00

"This the power of the cross
Christ became sin for us
Took the blame, bore the wrath
We stand forgiven at the cross."
-Keith & Kristyn Getty

I am weak, but He is strong

2008-04-14T20:59:00.000-07:00

It's been a challenging past few weeks, just in my daily life. I am tired mentally, physically, and emotionally. I am completely drained from school, commitments, and relationships. I'm ready for a weekend of rest, and it's Monday.

"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest" (Matthew 11:28, ESV).

I am so thankful that through all the chaos of my every day life, I have my God to turn to and that He is my comfort and my fortress. It is in Him that I take refuge from evil and in Him that my soul finds rest.

I love the mental picture of this next verse. His love and gentleness is so evident!

"He will tend his flock like a shepherd; he will gather the lambs in his arms; he will carry them in his bosom, and gently lead those that are with young" (Isaiah 40:11, ESV).

Father, hold me in your everlasting arms and help me to rely on you alone for strength and not on myself. I am weary, but in my weakness, You are made strong, because it is in my weakness that I clearly see that I am sustained only by Your power and grace, because apart from You I cannot do anything. To You be all glory through everything I think, say, and do.

My Desperately Wicked Heart

2008-04-07T15:56:00.000-07:00

"The heart is deceitful above all things,
and desperately sick;
who can understand it?"
(Jeremiah 17:9, ESV)

This past weekend was the "spring retreat" for my youth group. From the sessions to the food to the games, I had a wonderful time! However, I frequently found my heart wandering from where it was supposed to be. I might zone out here or there in a session, or think of myself before I thought of others, or do something with the wrong motive. The above verse came to mind more than once over the weekend as I battled with my flesh.

"Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin." (Romans 7:24, 25, ESV)

This is how I feel about 95% of the time. I just can't do anything right, but Jesus Christ has graciously paid the penalty for my sin.

"All we like sheep have gone astray;
we have turned—every one—to his own way;
and the LORD has laid on him
the iniquity of us all."
(Isaiah 53:6, ESV)

How true of my own life just in the past few hours! I constantly go astray from what the Word says and turn to my own sinful way, and yet my God sees fit to punish His own Son for my sin.

This post is kind of "jumblely" and hard to understand, but I guess my point is that I am so very thankful for the love that God bestows on me every second of every hour of every day! I cannot sing His praises enough, nor can I do anything to remotely repay Him for what He has done for me and my wretched, wicked heart.

Lord, help my life, my thoughts, my words, and my actions be pleasing to you! May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to you, oh Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer! Help me show your love in everything that I do, and do everything for Your glory, and Yours alone. In Your Son's holy name, Amen.

The Best of Friends

2008-03-29T22:10:00.000-07:00

Have I ever mentioned just how much I adore these two little girls? Well, I do. God has blessed me with the most beautiful, kind, and loving little sisters! I prayed for a little sister for several years and God blessed me with a brother and then another brother. On September 27th, 1997 (three days after I accepted Jesus Christ as my Savior), I was finally given my very own little sister to love and care for. Then something unexpected happened... on November 21st, 2001, I was given ANOTHER little sister! God is so good. He "overblesses."

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God." (Philippians 4:6, ESV)

A Much Needed Rest

2008-03-26T15:36:00.001-07:00

I am on spring break this week, and enjoying a much needed rest. Ironically, I have spent more time being physically active outdoors than I have in a long time.
On both Friday & Monday I went with my family to the zoo. I had a lot of fun spending time with my parents and siblings, while also enjoying God's beautiful creation. We definitely saw some interesting little critters!
On Tuesday Paul came over and we went biking all over my neighborhood and town. It was great to get on a bike again. I don't think I had pulled out my bike in years!
Today I climbed Pinnacle with Paul and some friends. I went up the mountain faster than I ever have before and it felt so good. I have to say that the best part is sitting at the top, admiring the view and being reminded of how big God is and how small I am.
This week has been a great reminder that I am just a little piece of the puzzle in God's extraordinary plan. It is humbling to think of how small I am, and then to think that even though I am completely hopeless and worthless without Him, He still chose me. Wow. What an amazing God I serve!

"O LORD, our Lord,
how majestic is your name in all the earth!
You have set your glory above the heavens.
Out of the mouth of babies and infants,
you have established strength because of your foes,
to still the enemy and the avenger.

When I look at your heavens, the work of your fingers,
the moon and the stars, which you have set in place,
what is man that you are mindful of him,
and the son of man that you care for him?

Yet you have made him a little lower than the heavenly beings
and crowned him with glory and honor.
You have given him dominion over the works of your hands;
you have put all things under his feet,
all sheep and oxen,
and also the beasts of the field,
the birds of the heavens, and the fish of the sea,
whatever passes along the paths of the seas.

O LORD, our Lord,
how majestic is your name in all the earth!"
(Psalm 8, ESV)

The Free Flowing Fountain.

2008-03-19T21:37:00.000-07:00

Do you think about the words you sing on Sunday morning? I mean, do you really meditate on what is coming out of your mouth? If you're not fully convinced of what you're saying and believing with everything you have that it is the truth, then you are guilty of being a liar just by singing words off of a screen.

" What is desired in a man is steadfast love,and a poor man is better than a liar" (Proverbs 19:22, ESV).
"Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O LORD, my rock and my redeemer" (Psalm 19:14, ESV).

Here is a song that most of us have sung time and time again throughout our lives. Do you believe it? If so, do you live like you believe it?

There is a fountain filled with blood
Drawn from Immanuel's veins;
And sinners, plunged beneath that flood,
Lose all their guilty stains.

The dying thief rejoiced to see
That fountain in his day;
And there may I, though vile as he,
Wash all my sins away.

Dear dying Lamb, Thy precious blood
Shall never lose its power,
Till all the ransomed ones of God
Be saved, to sin no more.

E'er since by faith I saw the stream
Thy flowing wounds supply,
Redeeming love has been my theme,
And shall be till I die.

When this poor lisping, stammering tongue
Lies silent in the grave,
Then in a nobler, sweeter song,
I'll sing Thy power to save.

I'll sing Thy power to save,
I'll sing Thy power to save;
Then in a nobler, sweeter song,
I'll sing Thy power to save.

Do you sing His power to save? Is it ever on your heart? Are you rejoicing in the fullness of salvation through Jesus Christ? Is redeeming love your life's theme?

Dear friends and Christian family, I pray that throughout this passion week you will remember and not lose sight of why we have hope in this life. I pray that you will weep over your sin that caused your Savior to be crucified. The fountain that gives us hope is drawn from the veins of Jesus Christ. Every last drop of his blood was spilt for your sin.

Would you die for an unbeliever? Would you poor out your own blood (the actually red, gooey stuff, not just the pretty word "blood" that you read on paper) for someone who was plotting to kill you and hated you with all of their being? This is what Christ did for us.

He knew before time that we would hate Him. He knew that we would beat, marr, spit on, spear, mock, and crucify Him. He had plenty of time to change His mind, but He never did.

THIS was the life of my Jesus:

Behold, my servant shall act wisely;
he shall be high and lifted up,
and shall be exalted.
As many were astonished at you—
his appearance was so marred, beyond human semblance,
and his form beyond that of the children of mankind—
so shall he sprinkle many nations;
kings shall shut their mouths because of him;
for that which has not been told them they see,
and that which they have not heard they understand.
Who has believed what he has heard from us?
And to whom has the arm of the LORD been revealed?
For he grew up before him like a young plant,
and like a root out of dry ground;
he had no form or majesty that we should look at him,
and no beauty that we should desire him.
He was despised and rejected by men;
a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief;
and as one from whom men hide their faces
he was despised, and we esteemed him not.

Surely he has borne our griefs
and carried our sorrows;
yet we esteemed him stricken,
smitten by God, and afflicted.
But he was wounded for our transgressions;
he was crushed for our iniquities;
upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace,
and with his stripes we are healed.
All we like sheep have gone astray;
we have turned—every one—to his own way;
and the LORD has laid on him
the iniquity of us all.

He was oppressed, and he was afflicted,
yet he opened not his mouth;
like a lamb that is led to the slaughter,
and like a sheep that before its shearers is silent,
so he opened not his mouth.
By oppression and judgment he was taken away;
and as for his generation, who considered
that he was cut off out of the land of the living,
stricken for the transgression of my people?
And they made his grave with the wicked
and with a rich man in his death,
although he had done no violence,
and there was no deceit in his mouth.

Yet it was the will of the LORD to crush him;
he has put him to grief;
when his soul makes an offering for guilt,
he shall see his offspring; he shall prolong his days;
the will of the LORD shall prosper in his hand. Out of the anguish of his soul he shall see and be satisfied; by his knowledge shall the righteous one, my servant,
make many to be accounted righteous,
and he shall bear their iniquities.
Therefore I will divide him a portion with the many,
and he shall divide the spoil with the strong,
because he poured out his soul to death
and was numbered with the transgressors;
yet he bore the sin of many,
and makes intercession for the transgressors.
(Isaiah 52:13-53:12, ESV).

Hallelujah, WHAT A SAVIOR!

Giving ---> Receiving

2008-03-17T17:00:00.001-07:00

I have been feeling under the weather today and therefore spent the majority of the day (basically since after school) in bed. I'm not contagiously sick, I just have horrid allergies after sleeping on a hotel floor for a couple of nights in a row. :)

I went to OK City last weekend to watch the end of the national basketball tournaments (my brother was playing and Saturday was his birthday). What I didn't know when I left was that I would have so much fun giving to others during my trip. Now, I don't want to "toot my own horn" because I definitely didn't have a good attitude the entire time, but I saw the Lord using me to help others rather than myself. I prayed that God would use me where He wanted to use me, and I saw the answer to that prayer through a few conversations I had with friends and just putting me in the right place at the right time. Only God can work like that. It is amazing how great giving can make you feel, and how by giving one is actually receiving so much!

While lying in bed earlier, I was watching Oprah (I was one of the daily 10,000,000 viewers today) and I just had to laugh at something that Simon Cowell (judge on American Idol) said after he gave away $162,000 to a needy family. He said, "I never knew how good it felt to give!" When Oprah asked him when he learned this, he told her that it had hit him just after he gave away that money.

Yes, Simon! Isn't it incredible that what the Bible says is actually true?!

"In all things I have shown you that by working hard in this way we must help the weak and remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he himself said, 'It is more blessed to give than to receive'" (Acts 20:35, ESV).

Growing Up

2008-03-07T10:10:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I had this crazy idea of looking for apartments. No, I'm not moving out for over a year, but the idea of looking for a place to live sounded like fun and so I spent my free time looking around on rent.com. There are actually quite a few very nice places for rent in town for a decent price. I was practicing being a good steward by not even looking at the more expensive places, but I found that the cheaper places were very nice looking. I was happily surprised.

Then all of a sudden as I was looking through apartments I realized something. I am no longer afraid of growing up! In fact, I am starting to look forward to the idea. For quite some time now, my sinful control issues have been hindering me from seeing that responsibility is not always a bad thing. Becoming an adult doesn't have to be scary! I am someone who has enjoyed living at home with my family and I have not always looked forward to the day when I will move out of my parents' home. I enjoy the shelter and protection that living with my parents provides.

I am so thankful that I saw this little bit of growth in my life, even in something as small as not being afraid to move out. It may seem silly to some people, but I see this as a big step in my own life because I am handing over the reins to God and willingly asking Him to be in control.

Thank you, Lord, for growth in the small areas as well as the big ones!

"The LORD is my strength and my song,and he has become my salvation;this is my God, and I will praise him, my father’s God, and I will exalt him." (Exodus 15:12, ESV)

The pettiness of people vs. the wisdom of God

2008-02-25T18:13:00.000-08:00

After reading over I Corinthians 1, my heart has been burdened by the way that we as Christians, but nevertheless human beings, act at times. Sadly, the same division that went on in Corinth nearly 2000 years ago is still going on today. Have you ever wondered what a nonbeliever thinks as he or she drives through town, passing a different church around every corner? No wonder nonbelievers see Christians as hypocrites! We preach a gospel of peacemaking, patience, selflessness, and love, and yet we divide based on preference issues. Here is what the Apostle Paul had to say about division in the church:

"Paul, called by the will of God to be an apostle of Christ Jesus, and our brother Sosthenes, To the church of God that is in Corinth, to those sanctified in Christ Jesus, called to be saints together with all those who in every place call upon the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, both their Lord and ours: Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ." I Corinthians 1:1-3
Notice how Paul reinforces the unity of the body of believers in his greeting to the Corinthians. The believers are those who call upon the name of Jesus Christ, with the basic foundational beliefs.

"I appeal to you, brothers, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree, and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be united in the same mind and the same judgment. For it has been reported to me by Chloe’s people that there is quarreling among you, my brothers. What I mean is that each one of you says, "I follow Paul," or "I follow Apollos," or "I follow Cephas," or "I follow Christ." Is Christ divided? Was Paul crucified for you? Or were you baptized in the name of Paul? I thank God that I baptized none of you except Crispus and Gaius, so that no one may say that you were baptized in my name. (I did baptize also the household of Stephanas. Beyond that, I do not know whether I baptized anyone else.) For Christ did not send me to baptize but to preach the gospel, and not with words of eloquent wisdom, lest the cross of Christ be emptied of its power." I Corinthians 1:10-17
Paul said that there is to be no division within the church. What does division in the church accomplish? From what I've seen, nothing.

And now, to Ephesians 4, where our youth pastor has been teaching from:
"I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit—just as you were called to the one hope that belongs to your call— one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all. But grace was given to each one of us according to the measure of Christ’s gift." Ephesians 4:1-7

"Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love." Ephesians 4:15,16

If we know the truth, then why is there division? Why around every street corner to we see a Baptist, Methodist, and Pentecostal church? Why are there 1st Baptists, 2nd Baptists, and Missionary Baptists? Why within churches that believe the exact same thing, but have differing preferences on how worship services are to be held, are the churches dividing? Why do we snub our noses at those who believe the same as far as foundational beliefs, but differ in secondary areas? These are questions that have come to my mind and the only answer I have is that Satan will attack wherever he can, and the church is a great place to start.

How are we to witness to those who are perishing when we can't even get along with each other?
I think that we can apply our American saying to the church: United we stand, divided we fall.

Peacemaking is so very important!

"Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God." Matthew 5:9

"Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show it by his good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. Such "wisdom" does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, of the devil. For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness." James 3:13-18

Are you a peacemaker?

The Latest News

2008-02-19T14:37:00.000-08:00

The Good News: After twelve long years of general education, and not quite two years of college, I am pleased to announce that the hard work and studying has payed off & I have been accepted into nursing school. Of course, it is only by God's grace and my parents' unending service and love that I have gotten this far, so I owe them immense thanks.

The Bad News: I am trying not to stress about all of the fees and deadlines. After looking through all of the web pages stating what I am required to have before school starts, it seems as though I will be nickled & dimed to death before I get to start school this summer.
I know that God will provide. He already has in so many ways. I have received uniforms, a stethoscope, and blood pressure cuff all for free, and have been offered an opportunity to borrow books from former students of the school I hope to attend, have been promised a gift of "the right shoes" that I will need, and do not have to pay housing expenses because my parents graciously allow me to live at home. God is very, very good, and even if these things had not been given to me, He would still be good because I don't deserve anything, much less offerings that will help out with expenses.

Please pray that I will continue to trust in Him and that He will provide the financial means that I need to make it through the last couple of years of college. I am quite positive that unless I am able to receive scholarships (which I am looking in to now), that I will come out a little in debt, but I would like to avoid as much as I possibly can. The Lord has kindly provided all of the financial means to put me through college debt free so far, and I am so very thankful for that!
I look forward to seeing what else He has in store, whether it seems "good" to me or not. I know that everything He plans is good, because He is good.

"Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the LORD our God." Psalm 20:7

True Love

2008-02-13T21:43:00.000-08:00

Happy Valentine's Day!
Spend some extra time with the One who loves you most.

"At one time we too were foolish, disobedient, deceived and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures. We lived in malice and envy, being hated and hating one another. But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that, having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life." (Titus 3:3-6, NIV)

Reflecting

2008-02-03T22:14:00.000-08:00

It's just been one of those weekends where I feel like I've been jumping over so many spiritual obstacles, just barely getting by and not tripping. Thankfully, I see the Holy Spirit at work in my life, molding me in to the person that God desires me to be. I am so thankful for a God who is living and personal!

"The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases;
his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
'The LORD is my portion,' says my soul,
'therefore I will hope in him.'"
Lamentations 3:22-24

I Wanna Set The World On Fire

2008-01-27T20:28:00.001-08:00

Recently I found a great new singer. Her music gives me chills. I'm sure many of you have heard of her before, but I had not until just a few weeks ago.

Britt Nicole: Set The World On Fire
I encourage you to listen to this song (ignore the not so well done video). The point of this song is strong and assuring. With God nothing is impossible.

As I listened to this song and through messages that I have heard lately, I have been so convicted by these thoughts: What God do you serve? Is He not the God that created the entire Universe? Then why do you doubt Him?

I wanna set the world on fire
Until it's burning bright for You
It's everything that I desire
Can I be the one You use?

I, I am small but
You, You are big enough
I, I am weak but
You, You are strong enough to
Take my dreams
Come and give them wings
Lord with You
Nothing I can not do
Nothing I cannot do

I wanna feed the hungry children
And reach across the farthest land
And tell the broken there is healing
And mercy in the Father's hands

I, I am small but
You, You are big enough
I, I am weak but
You, You are strong enough to
Take my dreams
Come and give them wings
Lord with You
Nothing I can not do
Nothing I cannot do

Take my dreams
Come and give them wings
Lord with You
Nothing I cannot do
Nothing I cannot do

My hands my feet
My everything
My life, my love
Lord, use me

I wanna set the world on fire
I wanna set the world on fire, yeah

Take my dreams
Come and give them wings
Lord with You
Nothing I cannot do
Take my dreams
Come and give them wings
Lord with You
There's nothing I can't do
Nothing I can't do

I'm gonna set the world on fire
Set the world on fire

"For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm." (Ephesians 6:12-13, ESV)

"Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need." (Hebrews 4:14-16, ESV)

"The angel answered, 'The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. So the holy one to be born will be called the Son of God. Even Elizabeth your relative is going to have a child in her old age, and she who was said to be barren is in her sixth month. For nothing is impossible with God.'
'I am the Lord's servant,' Mary answered. 'May it be to me as you have said.' Then the angel left her." (Luke 1:35-38, ESV)

"I can do all things through him who strengthens me." (Philippians 4:13, ESV)

"For 'everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.' How then will they call on him in whom they have not believed? And how are they to believe in him of whom they have never heard? And how are they to hear without someone preaching? And how are they to preach unless they are sent? As it is written, 'How beautiful are the feet of those who preach the good news!'" (Romans 10:13-15, ESV)

"And I heard the voice of the Lord saying, 'Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?' Then I said, 'Here am I! Send me.'" (Isaiah 6:8, ESV)

Winter Days

2008-01-25T15:16:00.000-08:00

With all of the hustle and bustle of school, the past two weeks have passed by quickly! I feel like I've hardly had a moment to breathe. So far all of my classes are going well. I have quite a load of homework, but at least I am understanding the material!

I have been learning that I don't trust God nearly as much as I should. I worry over the little things in life, and fret when something is not going "how I planned." How prideful is that? For some strange reason I think that I am in control of my life... ha. I thank You, Lord, for reminding me that YOU are the one who is in control of my life and the lives of everyone else around me.

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart,
and do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your way acknowledge him,
and he will make straight your paths.
Be not wise in your own eyes;
fear the LORD, and turn away from evil."
(Proverbs 3:5-7, ESV)

Back To Reality

2008-01-13T20:02:00.001-08:00

School starts tomorrow, so today ends my nice winter break. In some ways I am looking forward to school, and in other ways I wish that I had a few more weeks of break time. For anyone reading this, I sure could use prayer this semester. I have two hard core science classes (Anatomy & Physiology II & Chemistry II) and then Developmental Psychology (oh, joy), Spanish I, Aerobics, and Self-defense. The only class I'm really not looking forward to would be my psych class, but it's online, so hopefully I can just skim by that one. I believe that many issues are diagnosed as psychological when they should be diagnosed as internal cardiac (aka, sin) issues. Just one more semester until I am able to transfer and really start nursing school.

And now my favorite medical verse...
"A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones" (Proverbs 17:22, ESV).

Bowling, Broomball, and Bruises

2008-01-12T01:13:00.000-08:00

I learned several lessons between the hours of 6:00pm on Friday (yesterday) and 2:00am on Saturday (today).

Naturally uncoordinated people are unequipped to be professional bowlers. One must be light on one's feet, muscular in the arms, and swift with the ball in order to knock over more than one pin... I, unfortunately, am not one of those coordinated people. I guess I'll just leave that to my should-have-been-a-ballet-dancer boyfriend.
Payton Hillis (or however you spell that poor man's name), is to be pitied for his role in life as a "famous" person. Needless to say, though he kindly humored all of the camera flashes and squeals from swooning young ladies, he looked overly tired and irritated while honoring me with his autograph. Poor man! He cannot even go on a date with his girlfriend to the bowling alley without being treated like a rare Smithsonian specimen on display for the first time. However, on the upside, my father was overjoyed when presented with a slab of flat tree that had "Payton Hillis" scribbled on it with ink.
My right ankle can be easily mistaken to be a broom-hockey ball. Next time I think I just might wrap myself in caution tape before taking on the world ...or the BCLR youth group.

Besides these lessons, I did get to spend time with many wonderful brothers and sisters in Christ. I rode to and from everywhere with a dear friend, bowled with some amazing young ladies, made one strike, then ate pizza with an old friend and a new one, met 3 new friends at the ice skatium, played 4 great games of broom-hockey, and made one goal!
God continuously blesses me in so many ways and I am so grateful and privileged to be able to be a part of the youth staff. I can hardly wait to see what God has in store for me in the future!

For now, I'm pretty sure that my pillow and down comforter are summoning me and I'd rather not disappoint them. ;)

"Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing" (I Thessalonians 5:11, ESV).

"I do the very thing I hate."

2008-01-10T23:08:00.000-08:00

Have you ever just felt bitter towards someone who has cut you deeply? There is someone in my life that I love very much, but who has hurt me time and time again over a moderately long period of time. It's a struggle not to be bitter towards this person, even though I know that I should hold no hard feelings towards them. The Apostle Paul describes my dilemma (as well as his and every other human being's) well in Romans 7 when he writes, "For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate" (Romans 7:15, ESV). I don't want to be bitter, especially not towards someone who I love and admire so much, but I continue to think mean words and thoughts in my heart towards this person. My pride gets in the way and instead of having compassion towards others, I desire to lash out towards them at least in my heart if not out loud. The battle against mind and flesh is constant!

Dear Father, please forgive my sinful heart and help me to have a heart of love and forgiveness. Thank you that you have abolished the law of sin and that you gave me an undeserved gift of mercy and eternal life with You. Demolish every one of my sinful thoughts and deeds. Create in me a clean heart and renew a right spirit within me. Destroy my sin and sanctify my spirit. Thank you for your steadfast love and forgiveness towards me. Amen.

"So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand. For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being, but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members. Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin" (Romans 7:21-25, ESV).

January jumblings

2008-01-07T10:59:00.000-08:00

It's amazing that God uses so many different people and ways to convict me.
Last night I was listening to my 10 year old sister pray. She diligently went through a mental prayer list of all of the prayer requests she had recently heard about. Naming them one by one and in detail, she prayed for each individual request, whether it be something about someones kitchen being fixed or someones sick grandmother. Then she thanked God for the different blessings she had received throughout her day and repented for individual sins she had committed. The best part being that it was obvious she was sincere about everything she said and that her faith is deep and genuine.
How I pray that the Lord will teach me to have the faith of a child and to pray like that!

School, school, school!

2007-09-19T20:38:00.000-07:00

Well, right now I am studying for the 2 tests I have tomorrow. Complaining about tests is not an option when so many people don't even have the opportunity to go to school and learn. Though it can be hard at times, I have to remember to thank God for blessings like the opportunity to get an education.

Creativity of Children

2007-09-13T20:52:00.000-07:00

The way that God made the minds of children work is fascinating and beautiful to me. There is so much imagination and innocence in the mind of a child.

Just the other day I was babysitting my two favorite little boys to babysit (the oldest is 6 now and I've been their main babysitter since he was less than a year old) and I gave the youngest (age 3) a banana because he was hungry. We had previously been playing trains with their rather large "Thomas the Tank Engine" train playset. Well, I went to check on something in the kitchen and when I got back to their room and the 3-year-old said "Oh, no! James is stuck in mud! Oh, no!" I looked, and low and behold, there in the middle of the train track was James the engine stuck in the "mud" (aka a banana)!

Now, most people probably would have thought this was a bad thing, but I thought that it was a fairly clever idea to use a mushy, sticky banana as mud. There are a lot of worse things he could have used.

Point being: God created us to use our minds and imaginations and think outside the box. Too often I think we get "stuck in the mud" of life and don't take the time to see what is really going on around us. We take what God has given us for granted and we use our minds, but we don't challenge them to be creative and imaginative.

So, don't be a stick in the mud (or a tank engine). Enjoy the imagination God has given you!

One of "those" days...

2007-09-06T21:33:00.000-07:00

Wow, it's been quite a while since I posted on this blog. I guess I just haven't made the time to sit down and type out life on the Internet. There's always that odd feelings lingering over me when I type posts for a blog because it's like the world has access to my personal thoughts. Well, I think I will try to start posting a little more regularly and I will try to forget how public these posts really are. God has been teaching me so many things over the past months and I regret not typing those things out so that I could look back and reflect on them. So, here you are. My second attempt at keeping a regular blog journal...

Persecution produces promise!

2007-02-13T10:52:00.000-08:00

A week away from Internet entertainment actually wasn't nearly as hard as I thought it was going to be. I stayed so busy that I guess it really just didn't hit me like I thought it would, but I did realize that I got much more accomplished since I wasn't playing around on the computer.

It was a tough week. Just one of those where I wondered if I am doing what God wants me to do. Persecution hit hard this week and it was a challenge, but then I remembered that persecution is what has been promised to true believers and that made me rejoice! Funny enough, PQ talked about persecution on Sunday.
One thing I have thought about is that persecution and perversion are not the same thing. Persecution is when you are being attacked for your faith, but being bombarded by the perversion all around you is an entirely different thing. School and work this past week was especially bad. Satan was attacking because I was focusing on spending more time with God.

My prayer for this week is kindness. Kindness towards everyone I come in contact with, and not just outward kindness. I need the kindness exhibited by Jesus.

Self Evaluation Time

2007-02-04T14:12:00.000-08:00

PQ preached a great sermon this morning (as usual), but this one has really convicted me to change and I am the only one who can allow God to change me. Sitting back and doing nothing while saying, "Yes Lord, I want change" is not doing me any good at all (or anyone else for that matter). I need to be moving forward in my walk with God and it's up to me to let that happen. PQ made a great point by saying, "Do you feel hopeless? If so, then you're not building character." Sadly, I have to agree with that statement. Lately I have not been building character and it's time for a change. This week I'm starting with a fast from the Internet. I will not be playing online, checking facebook, talking on messengers or webcams, making blogger posts, or doing anything that I don't have to do (I have to check my e-mail for school purposes, but I won't be spending extensive time with that). This fast starts at 12:00am on Monday, 5 February 2007 and ends at 12:00am on Monday, 12 February 2007. I have realized that I have let the Internet become an idol and that just can't be. When something starts to hinder your spiritual life or you spend more time with it than you do with God, then it is an idol. So, here goes my one week Internet fast... then I'll move on to some other form of torture such as no chocolate or sweets for a week... what am I getting myself into?

"For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promised." Hebrews 10:36

Oh, school!

2007-02-01T17:51:00.000-08:00

School is so overwhelming right now. There is just so much to do and so little time to do it in with a part time job and 16 credit hours for this semester, not to mention coaching cheerleading and 2:22 Bible Study. The comforting thing is that this is what God has planned for me at this time and He has me where He wants me to be. I'm just having trouble being content in His current plan for my time. I'd much rather be finished with nursing school, have my degree, be married, and out in the mission field somewhere... but then again, I am in the mission field. The field of America where the battle is just as hard as the one in a faraway land. May I be content and rejoice where the Lord has put me at this time and glorify Him in all that I say and do, being a light to those around me whether they are fellow brothers and sisters in Christ or lost creations!

God is amazing!

2007-01-24T20:33:00.000-08:00

Just what the title says.

The love of God

2007-01-22T12:31:00.000-08:00

"The love of God is greater farThan tongue or pen can ever tell;It goes beyond the highest star,And reaches to the lowest hell;The guilty pair, bowed down with care,God gave His Son to win;His erring child He reconciled,And pardoned from his sin.

Could we with ink the ocean fill,And were the skies of parchment made,Were every stalk on earth a quill,And every man a scribe by trade,To write the love of God above,Would drain the ocean dry.Nor could the scroll contain the whole,Though stretched from sky to sky.

O love of God, how rich and pure!How measureless and strong!It shall forevermore endureThe saints’ and angels’ song."

-Frederick Lehman and Claudia L. Mays

New week, new blog.

2007-01-21T13:24:00.000-08:00

Ever have those days when you just want to snuggle into the covers of your bed and sleep the day away? This would be one of those days for me. it's been a long week filled with many emotions here and there and right now I'd just like to rest. Unfortunately, I have quite a bit of homework left to be done, so I need to do that... after I take a thirty minute nap. I think it's interesting how we (the majority of people I've talked to about this) need to take a rest day once a week just like the example God set when He was creating the universe. Obviously, God didn't need to rest since He never grows weak or weary, but He chose to rest.
I'm off to take a little nap now. :)